Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
