when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
