Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
