We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
