she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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