my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
