So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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