Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
