i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
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You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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