they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
