so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
