Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
