I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
