This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
