is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
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