I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
