physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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