He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
