well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
