What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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