If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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