i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
