I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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