bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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