Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
