We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
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It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
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Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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