My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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