We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
