Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
