I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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