I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
