My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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