It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
