I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
