i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
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Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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