Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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