we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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