So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
