I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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