I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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