If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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