pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
