Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
