apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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