did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
