I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm getting married
To pizza
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
