i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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