tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
