I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
