I cockslap morals
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
