You work out of a Hotel?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
