? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
