In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
