I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
