he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Randomize
