I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
