Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Never underestimate the power of titties
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