This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
And then the night went full on bisexual.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
