Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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