Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
