loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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