So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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