Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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