Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
