Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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